Maybe you've already heard this, but a 67 year old man in rural Wisconsin (you know, real America) put a hole in his TV after Bristol Palin made it into the finals of Dancing With The Stars. Police say Steven Cowan then turned the gun on his wife, but unlike a TV, she has legs and was able to escape.
Let's look at the situation, shall we? Mr. Cowan has a constitutional right to bear arms, and the sanctity of heterosexual marriage must not be abridged by a God loving nation. The one thing we can regulate is ownership of cable TV, the one ingredient in this potentially lethal cocktail that conservatives will not defend to the death or add to the Constitution.
It's time to advocate for abstinence from cable TV. You'll thank me later.
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