A disturbing realization.

My mom was very pretty. She modeled before she got married. I wish I could find one of the more glamorous pictures of her, but I'm not sure who has one. This picture will do the trick. If you can take your eyes off her very fine stems for a moment, you'll see she had a long elegant nose and high cheekbones. When she was young, people often compared her to Joanne Woodward. Other actresses who look like her include Cloris Leachman, and if we go a generation younger, Meryl Streep.

Mom was pretty. So far, so good.

Consider the women whose pictures I put up when lazy blogging. First among equals is Indira Varma and her nigh perfect collarbone. If our eyes stray upward, we might notice she has a long elegant nose and high cheekbones.

Of course, my mom had a light complexion and blond hair, while Ms. Varma is much darker.

Still. Hmm.

Then we have Julie Newmar. If I put up a picture featuring her spectacular gams, many people might never get around to looking at her face.

Long elegant nose.

High cheekbones.

Pattern emerging.

Melissa Theuriau. There's nobody like Melissa Theuriau. Her eyes are actually gold not brown. I don't think I've ever seen eyes her color anywhere else except on some felines. She is impossibly angelic.

Okay, okay, she has a long elegant nose and high cheekbones.

Hey, Matty Boy? Wasn't The Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman the first time you felt those funny feelings? Allison Hayes was quite the looker, wasn't she? If you can take your eyes off her obvious charms, doesn't she have kind of a long elegant nose and high cheekbones?

Those are many good questions, hypothetical question asker. Let me give them all one well-considered answer.

Shut up.