In the words of Shane McGowan...

There's an ice-cold beer for Father McGreer
And a short one for Father Loyola
Father John's got the clap again
So he's drinking Coca-Cola.

Rain Street, The Pogues

These worthies, of course, are the witnesses asked to speak about birth control by a Republican house committee chaired by Darrel Issa. I believe they want their country back.  They did not specify what year would work best, but I'm guessing any time in the 19th Century would suit them just fine.

 

What Tim Tebow did not say today.

Hi, my name is Tim Tebow.  I play professional sports.  I am a Christian and my faith informs all aspects of my life.

My team, the Denver Broncos, won six games in a row, many in exciting comebacks in which my play was key.  I praised God and other Christians put me forward as a sign not only of Christ's love but of Christian superiority.

The Broncos have now lost two games in a row. The first loss was to the honestly superior Patriots.  I ran for two touchdowns but passed for none, and our defense was unable to stop the Patriots.

This week we played the Bills, a team that on paper should not be our superior.  I ran for a touchdown and threw for another, but I also threw four interceptions and was as instrumental in causing this loss as I was in causing several wins.

The reason is simple.  God cares little who wins sporting events.  God does not root for Notre Dame or Texas Christian or the people who always give him praise.  God does not root against those who forget to point skyward or fall on one knee after a touchdown.  He has more important things to do than care if a field goal is kicked true or is pulled to the right.

God loves me when I win and when I lose.  There are people of faith rooting for any given team playing a sport in America, and God does not plan a win to raise the victorious fans up or plot a loss to cause grief and teach humility to His faithful who root for the loser.

It's just a game and there are more important things in life.  Most important is how we treat our fellow man.

======

I'm not Tim Tebow, I'm Matthew Hubbard. Tim Tebow did not write this.  He's too rock fucking stupid to realize this.

Here endeth the lesson.  Happy holidays.

The Apostate

In this week's New Yorker magazine, Lawrence Wright tells the story of writer/director Paul Haggis leaving Scientology in an essay entitled The Apostate. There are links all over the Internet to the story, including on the Huffington Post and Talking Points Memo, but putting it here on my humble little blog means it's gone viral, which I guess is supposed to be a good thing.

If you've read The New Yorker, you know what to expect in an essay. It's long and meticulously researched. If someone tells an anecdote, everyone involved in the story is given a chance to state their recollection. Wright has a fondness for simple declarative sentences. Though emotions run high both in church members and in those who left the church, the tone of Wright's writing is so calm, it almost feels like a dissection.


Nearly everyone living mentioned in the article is given a chance to respond. The notable exception is David Miscavige, the man who at the age of 25 took the helm of Scientology after the death of founder L. Ron Hubbard and has helped it grow remarkably in the past 25 years. If we accept the official version from Scientology, Miscavige is a wonderful human being. If we listen instead to the formerly high placed defectors, he is a violent bully with terrifyingly quick mood swings.

Miscavige declined to be interviewed. While other Scientologists who knew Haggis are quoted by Wright, the only official who goes on record is Tommy Davis, son of the actress Anne Archer, who has been practicing Scientology since Davis was a young boy.

It will be interesting to see how the church responds to this story. According to Haggis, a tenet of Scientology is to listen to all sides before making up one's mind, but not surprisingly, every Scientologist will find a dozen good reasons not to believe anyone who leaves the church.

I've never been in the church. I think most of you can figure out whom I believe.

It's a very good read. Matty Boy says check it out.

What happened to that crazy girl Sinead O'Connor?

Eighteen years ago, Sinead O'Connor was famous for being pretty and bald headed and singing a song written by Prince. Then she went on Saturday Night Live, sang the song War by Bob Marley a cappella, then said we had to fight the real enemy and tore up a picture of the pope.

She was reviled. How was the pope the real enemy? She was dismissed as some sort of lunatic.

This is what she has to say today. She had a point then, she has a point now. Different pope, same hierarchy, same problem.

Not a lunatic, but a survivor of a nasty system that has still not seen the complete light of day.

I wish her Godspeed.

The flowchart for choosing a religion

My sister Karlacita! sent this flowchart to me about how to choose a religion. It was mailed to her, but the original source is the HolyTaco.com website. It may offend some of my religious friends but I kind of doubt it.

I like the fact that the first question after you decide you want to believe in one god is "How Do You Feel About Bacon?"

Take the test yourself. If it turns out you should be a Scientologist, please don't tell me. I like to think well of my invisible reading public.